home alone and scared
Dec. 2nd, 2007 07:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
carly_kaiFor the first time in 8 years I am going to be by myself - no one else that cares for me will hear my voice if I cry out - no one will feel my touch or hear the sound of my breathing as I sleep.
I am home.
I am alone.
I am scared.
Perhaps a mixture of age, self-awareness, reality and hormones have combined to instil this fear that I have of tonight, perhaps all the more so because I took my son back to Mom's - a process that is always gut wrenching for both of us.
I still have much unpacking and sorting and hanging and network plumbing to do but perhaps for tonight Kleenex, my jammies, slippers, cable TV, a soft blanket and my Teddy Bear are going to be my company until I fall asleep.
Fuck I hate Estrogen.
I am home.
I am alone.
I am scared.
Perhaps a mixture of age, self-awareness, reality and hormones have combined to instil this fear that I have of tonight, perhaps all the more so because I took my son back to Mom's - a process that is always gut wrenching for both of us.
I still have much unpacking and sorting and hanging and network plumbing to do but perhaps for tonight Kleenex, my jammies, slippers, cable TV, a soft blanket and my Teddy Bear are going to be my company until I fall asleep.
Fuck I hate Estrogen.
