random moments of thieving

Back in my early Navy days I was introduced to an activity known as rabbiting - a term that indicates one is acquiring a rabbit or two. Not the long eared sort like a bunny or a hare, but more along the lines of something like a nice pair of pliers or a brass ashtray made from one of her Majesties brass gun shells.

In terms of the law rabbiting and all things rabbited was wrong - we were misappropriating property of the Crown for our own use and would be hauled up before the Jimmy (the Executive Officer)  if caught by the Meat Heads (military police). We seldom, if ever were caught though as rabbiting was a way of life that made the difference between hunger and a decent meal back then when there was little left over after the rent and utilities were paid. Yes, it was quite common for a sailor to head home with a duffel bag full of dirty laundry, a pound of potatoes and a bottle of Navy Gravy (ketchup).

Over time our rabbiting skills evolved as while our pay increases made life more comfortable, cutbacks to the operational budget for the Navy meant that the only way we could keep our ships running was to borrow (steal) parts from a ship that was in dry dock for a refit. Our rabbiting skills were put to use as members of armed (with tools) thieving parties that could strip a RADAR antenna off of a ship faster than a the tires disappear from a car parked in the Bronx.

I've since retired but have retained the skills learned in the Navy - they came in handy in Montreal one night when we had salmon for supper. Cleverly I scooped up half of my plate and surreptitiously walked it, complete with utensils, out to the solarium where I presented my rabbit to a hungry Natalie.

Natalie loves salmon.

I think she also liked the blood orange and package (or two) of rabbited cookies...

Sex toy olympics

A snippet from a wonderful article...

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Not only were we limited to what we could get for free, the vegetable selection at the local bodega was abysmal.

"Ew, we are really gonna have to scrub these," I noted, picking up a dirty-yet-phallic yam and taking it to the checkout along with a cucumber, zucchini and carrot. Because we were only buying phallic vegetables and no lettuce or dressing, I was certain everyone knew what we were up to. Just in case they didn't, Tobly announced to the stony-faced cashier, "We're going to put these in her vagina!" For emphasis, she pointed toward my crotch.

The cashier bent his head down to get a look and smiled. Mortified, I scurried out of the store.

"Did you see the smile on his face?" Tobly said with a laugh. "He's going to be jacking to that for a week."